Saturday, May 28, 2011
Nazi Zombies: I Think We're Alone Now 2011 - *** This very short film is a fan made tribute produced by Group935.com, and was brought to our attention by Patricia Tallman. It features great production values and makeup, as well as some reasonable gore. We'd love to see this expanded into a feature. Somehow hearing the title song sung in German is kind of creepy all by itself. Check it out below.
Night Of The Giving Head 2008 - 1/2* This is the last film on our "zombie porn to review list" for now thankfully. This one succeeds more as an actual porn film than a zombie film, as there are no standard zombies here. Early in the film it is explained that a hole in the Earth's ozone layer has caused a change in the composition of male sperm. Those who drink this altered semen become "sperm zombies", though "sperm vampires" would probably have been a better choice logistically. I can't believe I just typed that last sentence. They then lurch around sucking off any stranger that's handy while chanting, "more cock, more cum" repeatedly. None of this explains why as the film progresses these women begin to look like the undead that we are accustomed to, or more importantly why the dudes getting blown don't seem to mind. I suppose if a good looking chick whose face just happens to be peeling off wants to smoke your custard chucker the "just don't look down" rule applies. Anyway, there is much cock sucked causing the zombies to multiply. That's really all the plot there is until it is finally revealed that it was a passing comet that caused these oral hi jinx, and you can cure these women (men too presumably, but that's a genre we won't go to.) by spraying whip cream into their mouths. Apparently it is a combination of the dairy products and the aerosol in the can that does the trick. Don't you love science ? We both agreed that the best scene in the film was watching your typical porn actress trying to lurch like a walker in her fuck me pumps on a beach. She looked more like a crack addict with cerebral palsy. There is no trailer available for your edification, it's just something you'll have to learn to live with.
Night of the Living Dead: Resurrection 2012 - *1/2 By now you are aware of what we think of people using this title to capitalize on Romero's name and franchise. This British made film though isn't as terrible as some of the others. Let's first look at what it does right. While this is a really low budget effort, the gore is quite well done, and there is an interesting twist to the whole story at the beginning of the film. This is not enough to save this tale though. There seems to be a trend in some of the latest films wherein the screen writers pander to the enthusiasms of the ignorant and superstitious film viewers. The story revolves around a family trying to understand and survive an outbreak of the undead. They are a bit of a backward group; the Grandfather spouts on about religion and end days, while the rest refuse to see the obvious and cling to sentimentality in regards to their bitten loved ones. It is hard to find any empathy for these characters and their stupidity, in fact we found ourselves doing the "go zombies" chant. This is truly a one star effort, but we're giving it the extra half star for the first ten minutes of the film.
Night Of The Living Dead 3D 2006 - * Enough of the remakes of this film already, there ought to be a law !!! Not even Sid Haig can save this dreary and unnecessary retelling. The script does nothing to enhance the story, it simply modifies it. Ben is a young white guy who deals drugs to pay his way through school, the farmhouse is a grow op. Haig's character has inherited a funeral parlor, and he inadvertently and quite implausibly causes the dead to rise. The gore and makeup here are second rate. The twists added to the script don't really work, and are almost glaring because of the viewer's familiarity with the story. The single star we're giving it is because Brianna Brown who plays Barb is sexy as hell.
Night Of The Zombies 1983 - **** AKA "Zombie Creeping Flesh" and "Hell Of The Living Dead". This is a great zombie film ! We're sure that some of you out there will say the film is derivative, poorly acted, poorly produced, but so what. If you edit out the useless wildlife stock shots (about 15 minutes) you have a film with innovative gore, a beautiful heroine, and the most blatant soundtrack rip off ever heard. This is one of the greatest Romero homage ever paid.
Posted by guttercat at 9:18 PM