Saturday, May 28, 2011


Nazi Zombies: I Think We're Alone Now 2011 - *** This very short film is a fan made tribute produced by, and was brought to our attention by Patricia Tallman. It features great production values and makeup, as well as some reasonable gore. We'd love to see this expanded into a feature. Somehow hearing the title song sung in German is kind of creepy all by itself. Check it out below.

Night Of The Creeps 1986 - *1/2 This is another one that we just re-viewed to update our thoughts. This move is really representative of the 80s, not just the clothing and hairstyles either - it kind of has a "Weird Science" vibe happening. In retrospect it really isn't that good, the gore and make-up are so so, and the opening sequence with the aliens is hilarious by today's standards. The film does have a few enjoyable moments. It has the first appearance of a zombie cat in cinema, and there are cameos by folks who would go on to be big names in Hollywood such as Shane Black, Greg Nicotero, and Robert Kurtzman. In the end though there is nothing to distinguish it from the rest of the genre films of the decade.

Night Of The Day Of The Dawn Of The Son Of The Bride Of The Return Of The Revenge Of The Terror Of The Attack Of The Evil, Mutant, Alien, Flesh Eating, Hellbound, Crawling, Zombified Living Dead Part 2: In Shocking 2-D 1991 -* As you can see this film's only claim to fame is having the longest title in cinema, and justifiably so. We are huge fans of "Mystery Science Theater 3000" and Woody Allen's "What's Up Tiger Lily?" so we held some hope that this would provide some enjoyment. Writer/director James Rifell takes Romero's original "Night Of The Living Dead" and replaces the soundtrack and dialogue with his own comedic take on the film. Along the way he includes odd interludes of things like joke telling and historical facts which are not particularly amusing. The humor is largely toilet, gay, and racially oriented, which we have no objection to as we have always maintained that absolutely nothing is sacred. The bothersome thing is that it is sophomoric for the most part, lacking true wit and originality. Granted there are a few parts that will have you laughing out loud, and one just has to grin at the total absurdity of what you are watching. Having seen as many versions of "NOTLD" as we have, this was curiously fun to watch. We've heard this can be a pretty hard film to find, and there is no official trailer to be found - so below is a fifteen minute clip that someone has pieced together as a best of reel. This whole endeavor is probably best enjoyed baked. 

Night Of The Giving Head 2008 - 1/2* This is the last film on our "zombie porn to review list" for now thankfully. This one succeeds more as an actual porn film than a zombie film, as there are no standard zombies here. Early in the film it is explained that a hole in the Earth's ozone layer has caused a change in the composition of male sperm. Those who drink this altered semen become "sperm zombies", though "sperm vampires" would probably have been a better choice logistically. I can't believe I just typed that last sentence. They then lurch around sucking off any stranger that's handy while chanting, "more cock, more cum" repeatedly. None of this explains why as the film progresses these women begin to look like the undead that we are accustomed to, or more importantly why the dudes getting blown don't seem to mind. I suppose if a good looking chick whose face just happens to be peeling off wants to smoke your custard chucker the "just don't look down" rule applies. Anyway, there is much cock sucked causing the zombies to multiply. That's really all the plot there is until it is finally revealed that it was a passing comet that caused these oral hi jinx, and you can cure these women (men too presumably, but that's a genre we won't go to.) by spraying whip cream into their mouths. Apparently it is a combination of the dairy products and the aerosol in the can that does the trick. Don't you love science ? We both agreed that the best scene in the film was watching your typical porn actress trying to lurch like a walker in her fuck me pumps on a beach. She looked more like a crack addict with cerebral palsy. There is no trailer available for your edification, it's just something you'll have to learn to live with.

Night Of The Living Dead 1968 and 1990 - **** This would be the birth place of these reviews, and it is suggested that both versions be viewed, as each has merit over the other. The original Romero version is actually scarier, and for its time was the vanguard horror film. The latter version is Tom Savini's directorial debut. It features the beautiful, talented, and underutilized Patricia Tallman as the main character Barbara, as well as the versatile genre mainstay Tony Todd as Ben. Romero's film is a perfect example of atmospheric horror, while Savini's benefits from modern special effects and  stronger characterizations.

Night Of The Living Dead: 30th Anniversary Edition 1998 - *  This edition was re-cut with additional scenes written by John Russo which tried to explain how the zombie apocalypse was caused by God punishing us sinners as told by a new character, a preacher who resembles Anton Szandor Lavey, the founder of modern Satanism . These new scenes are ridiculous, and are a detriment to the natural flow of the original film. These scenes merely serve to exemplify Russo's profound hubris in attempting to update a classic. Though it does feature new scenes with Bill Hinzman, the original zombie who hadn't aged a day in 30 years, and new scenes of zombie gore, we felt that the original for it's time was far more effectively shocking for what it hinted at rather than being graphic. We consider this modified version a waste of celluloid and a disservice to Romero.

Night Of The Living Dead: Reanimated 2009 - * The single star is given simply for artistic merit. This is a retelling of the original story done with various styles of animation. The question we asked ourselves was, "why" ? It adds nothing to the enjoyment of the film, some of the animation was just shit. An example is the claymation portions which were actually poorer than Mr. Bill and Sluggo. Don't get us wrong, we appreciate the time consuming work that goes into animated ventures such as this one. In this case though it seems like an utter waste of time. The only possible way of enjoying this is late at night after smoking a spliff.

Night of the Living Dead: Resurrection 2012 - *1/2 By now you are aware of what we think of people using this title to capitalize on Romero's name and franchise. This British made film though isn't as terrible as some of the others. Let's first look at what it does right. While this is a really low budget effort, the gore is quite well done, and there is an interesting twist to the whole story at the beginning of the film. This is not enough to save this tale though. There seems to be a trend in some of the latest films wherein the screen writers pander to the enthusiasms of the ignorant and superstitious film viewers. The story revolves around a family trying to understand and survive an outbreak of the undead. They are a bit of a backward group; the Grandfather spouts on about religion and end days, while the rest refuse to see the obvious and cling to sentimentality in regards to their bitten loved ones. It is hard to find any empathy for these characters and their stupidity, in fact we found ourselves doing the "go zombies" chant. This is truly a one star effort, but we're giving it the extra half star for the first ten minutes of the film.

Night Of The Living Dead 3D 2006 - * Enough of the remakes of this film already, there ought to be a law !!! Not even Sid Haig can save this dreary and unnecessary retelling. The script does nothing to enhance the story, it simply modifies it. Ben is a young white guy who deals drugs to pay his way through school, the farmhouse is a grow op. Haig's character has inherited a funeral parlor, and he inadvertently and quite implausibly causes the dead to rise. The gore and makeup here are second rate. The twists added to the script don't really work, and are almost glaring because of the viewer's familiarity with the story. The single star we're giving it is because Brianna Brown who plays Barb is sexy as hell.

Night Of The Living Dead 3D: Re-Animation 2012 - *1/2 This sequel to the movie above is sort of two movies in one. Is it any good? It is and it isn't. It is certainly more interesting than its predecessor.  The script by Director Jeff Broadstreet is good, and it isn't. The screenplay is filled with insider references designed for the true zombiephile, and it is fun to try and catch them all. (There is even a "Little Britain" reference). On the other hand it also includes an ecstasy induced necrophilia scene that is entirely gratuitous and doesn't advance the plot, and a character based on Sarah Palin that might have held amusement value four years ago but now just feels dated. Is the acting good? It is, and it isn't - one of our faves, the usually reliable, Jeffrey Combs seems to phone in his performance, and he is the best the film has to offer. What about things like make-up and special effects? Again, they're good and they're not. The now standard CGI head shots grow tiresome, be we must give kudos for a few inventive kills. Overall the zombies were believable however for a film that undeservedly borrows the name of this sacred franchise it is not zombie oriented enough for our tastes. We can't recommend this one, but neither can we say avoid it. It merely is.

Night Of The Living Dorks 2004 - 1/2* We enjoy a good teen comedy, and love a good zombie comedy. So we were hoping we'd enjoy this German film, we did not. Three high school losers are exposed to Haitian voodoo and become zombies, they have a series of what are supposed to be hilarious misadventures. The problem here is that the obstacles they face - school bullies, horniness, the girl next door who you don't realize is your perfect match, etc. have been done to death and better. What humor there is here is unimaginative, and falls flat. We suppose part of this can be blamed on the translation from German to English, though certainly not all. As the boys start to decompose they start to lose body parts like testicles, HA HA. No gore, no laughs, and a little nudity = skip this.

Night Of The Zombies 1981 - ABSOLUTELY NO STARS !!! Porn star Jamie Gillis battles Nazi zombies, need we say more ? Check out the scene below if you must. You've been warned.

Night Of The Zombies 1983 - **** AKA "Zombie Creeping Flesh" and "Hell Of The Living Dead". This is a great zombie film ! We're sure that some of you out there will say the film is derivative, poorly acted, poorly produced, but so what. If you edit out the useless wildlife stock shots (about 15 minutes) you have a film with innovative gore, a beautiful heroine, and the most blatant soundtrack rip off ever heard. This is one of the greatest Romero homage ever paid.

Nightmare Weekend 1986 - 1/2* Think of any bad cliche about 80's horror films you've ever heard of, and you will find it here. It is a zombie film yes, but its only saving grace is some decent nudity. It's certainly not worth the effort it takes to find a copy. The trailer below is actually more entertaining than the film itself.

Nudist Colony Of The Dead 1991- 1/2* A nudist zombie musical ? You bet. Is it any good ? Yes and no. That the makers of this film got Forrie Ackerman to do a bit part here is as surprising as Forrie Ackerman taking said bit part. This is one of those films that is truly bad in an enjoyable way, the musical numbers are well conceived, catchy and lyrically quite funny. The songs are the best part of this movie, and are so good that they inspired a stage production in the U.S. The premise here is that a group of religious zealots in a small town force the local nudist colony to shut down. The nudists take their own lives in protest, but return from the grave to kill any religious folk who return to the site. There is very little gore, and the gore presented is ludicrous as are the zombies themselves.  Like "The Room" this is a film that stays with you days afterwards, you can't get it out of your head. There are many laughs to be had, and the movie does take the piss out of all things politically correct, the cretinous and religious folk. Make no mistake this movie is a very low budget 16mm effort, but it is worth your time if you go in with no expectation of seeing a good zombie film, and truly enjoy B cinema. Below is a sample of what you can expect.


  1. Why no review of breakfast at the Manchester morgue? One of the best zombie films ever.

  2. I thought we had A review of "Let Sleeping Corpses Lie" on here as it is a favorite of Steve's and mine. Thanks for pointing out our oversight. There are still a hundred or so reviews ahead of us......

  3. Please folks let us know if there is a review you want to see or a recommendation of a film that is not on our "must obtain and watch" list. We love any and all input!